Awesome from the Machine

It's important to know that I once tried to ride a donkey, got knocked off, and still have a light, horse-shoe print on my shin. I also know more hilarious phrases in German than I know practical ones. If you were to measure my accomplishments in life purely on the video games I've beaten, books I've read, times I've made an inappropriate snide comment, and comic books stacked in my bedroom, I would be a golden fucking god.